Spouses share many personal things over the years. In your “golden years” do you envision sharing a home health aide with your spouse? I get many requests from family members to provide care for both parents, simultaneously. Some of the questions are, “Should the aide take care of both clients?” OR “Is it better for Mom to have her own aide and Dad to have his own aide?” Each situation has unique needs. Costs are not necessarily the determining factor.

Social Considerations:

Some spouses do not like to share! When one-on-one attention is demanded, then “His” and “Her” aides are essential to family tranquility! Otherwise, an aide can be caught in a “tug of war” between the two needy clients. The result is that neither client will receive a satisfactory amount of attention AND the aide will quit in frustration.

Logistical Considerations:

Unless both spouses plan on going everywhere together, a second aide is needed to accompany one spouse on the alternative destination. Let’s face it, being “dragged around” to someone else’s appointments or errands is tedious! Many times, the other spouse is too incapacitated to “tag along.” This happens when one spouse is homebound and the other actively participates in outings. “His” and “Her” aides are necessary when neither spouse can be left unattended.

Medical Needs Differences:

Each spouse has unique medical problems and needs. One spouse may require a skilled nurse while the other only needs a companion. One spouse may need at attendant continuously, but the other only needs assistance occasionally. It is important to correctly match the skill level of the caregiver and the amount of care to the needs of each spouse. This sometimes requires “His” and “Her” caregivers.

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